question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
