Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
