chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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