Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I did not marry a roomba.
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