I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
