Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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