So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
