Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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