She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
dude. I can hear the air.
Two words: nipple clamps
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