The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
