they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
