just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
