You work out of a Hotel?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
