I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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