Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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