Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
