Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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