This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
