conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
