Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
