sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize