Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
