tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
