her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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