You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Still dying that you shit outside
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
