Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
