so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
