Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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