Who wears a wallet chain?!
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
