There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
