Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
