i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
