thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
your thong is hanging out like whoa
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
