I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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