She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
