Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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