That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
