i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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