Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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