Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
