Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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