the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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