i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
