He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize