hotel room ftw
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
