She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
