these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
