it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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