My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
