Screwed.edu
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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