totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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