Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
