Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
