My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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