So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
