Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
