Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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