His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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