what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
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