I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
