She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
