I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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